


Down the Valley of Shadows

by stardustshleb



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Gen, Hurt Kanan Jarrus, Hurt/Comfort, Inquisitor Kanan Jarrus, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, suicidal idealization, suicide attempt - off screen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustshleb/pseuds/stardustshleb
Summary: Kanan was shaking. From cold or fear, it didn’t matter, his body was trembling uncontrollably. The binders on his wrist cut into his skin, leaving behind small nicks of blood but he didn’t notice it. He was too busy watching the Inquisitor. He had heard the stories of what happened to the Jedi that survived the Purge. None of it was good. Kanan could only hope for a quick death but from the sinister glint in the Inquisitor’s eye, he had a feeling he was in for something, much, much worse.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is influenced by bedlamsbard's amazing work, On the Edge of the Devil's Backbone. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest that you do! I was fascinated by her Inquisitor!Kanan and wanted to take a stab at it myself! 
> 
> Kanan is in a very dark place in the fic so please be aware there is mention of suicide, a suicide attempt, and suicide idealization in this chapter (this is a dark chapter folks but I promise, there is a happy ending!). None of it is graphic but please keep that in mind when reading. If that is not for you, I would suggest skipping this story. If you want to read but want to skip that part, read all the way up until "Kanan often dreamed..." and then move onto the next chapter. 
> 
> Title from Edgar Allen Poe's poem, "Eldorado"
> 
> If you do stick around, I hope you enjoy! This has not been beta'd so all mistakes are my own. Thanks, as always, for taking the time to give my story a read!

Kanan was shaking. From cold or fear, it didn’t matter; his body was trembling uncontrollably. The binders on his wrists cut into his skin leaving behind small nicks of blood but he hardly noticed. He was too busy watching the Inquisitor.

He was a Pau’an with deep red markings that stood out on his grey, skull like face. His yellow eyes were ringed with red and watched Kanan with a sickening hunger. The dark side dripped off of him lazy rolls, twisting and curling around Kanan making it had to breathe. He shook harder.

Six years. He had been on his own for _six years_ and never once did anything to catch the Empire’s eye. But then he had to go and save an ungrateful Devaronian from dying a horrible death under a mountain of rubble. He hadn’t been actively thinking about using the Force, it just happened and that was all it took. One well placed security camera and Kanan’s inability to let fate run its course had him in chains, bound for certain death.

He had heard the stories of what happened to the Jedi that survived the Purge. None of it was good. Kanan could only hope for a quick death but from the sinister glint in the Inquisitor’s eyes, he had a feeling he was in for something much, much worse.

Kanan felt the transport shuttle lurch as it touched down. His heart began thumping loudly in his chest as the other two Inquisitors who came for him jumped down from the cockpit. The Pau’an smiled at him, revealing his sharp pointed teeth. No one said a word as the hatch lowered emitting a cold and biting breeze. One of the Inquisitors yanked Kanan to his feet and pushed him out of the shuttle.

The dark siders flanked him as he stumbled down the ramp. His first step onto the thin walking platform felt like a stone rolling over his grave. The platform was suspended above still water that stretched as far as the eye could see. For a moment Kanan thought about flinging himself over the edge, letting himself sink to the bottom as the water filled his lungs. The Pau’an tightened his grip on Kanan’s arm.

They lead him forwards towards a dark spire that speared the glassy surface like a dagger. It was night on the watery moon, the hellish glow of Mustafar making the surface shimmer like blood.

With every step Kanan took he could feel the dark side growing, weighing him down until he didn’t think he’d be able to move at all. It was only the by the force of the Pau’an Inquisitor that he made it to the tall arch of the spire. Anger brushed across his skin, fear whispered in his ear, the dark side called to him, its ghostly fingers wrapping around his heart and leaching ice into his soul. If he crossed that threshold there would be no turning back. The life he knew, that light inside of him – it would be gone forever.

He dug his heels in but the bodies around him – the pull of the dark side – was undeniable.

Kanan lost track of time. The Force moved around him in a thick, confusing haze. He didn’t remember entering the Inquisitor’s fortress or how he ended up strapped to an interrogation chair. He did remember the pain. It course through him like fire, ripping his skin and muscles bare until nothing remained but his exposed nerves. With every shock, his body convulsed violently. Kanan strained against the metal vices that held him in place, his amber skin molted with bruises. He bit through his tongue at some point, trying to hold back his screams. Hot blood filled his mouth, choking him as another round of pain ran through him.

The Pau’an never asked him any questions, never said a word; he just kept sending bolt after bolt of electricity through Kanan’s body until he wasn’t even sure he had a body left. Time lost all meaning. He didn’t know how long he had been strung up in the chair at the mercy of the Inquisitor. Years could have gone by, centuries.

When it did stop, Kanan slumped against his restraints, panting, bleeding, and wishing for a death that would never come. Not yet.

The Inquisition had a Jedi to torture - not that he could consider himself one after all these years. They wouldn’t let him go now that they had him.

Kanan blinked weakly against the harsh light as a door somewhere out of sight hissed open. Mechanical breathing filled the space and with it a chill that sunk to the bottom of Kanan’s bones. Beside the Pau’an Inquisitor a masked figure appeared. Instinctually, through the haze of pain that blurred his vision, Kanan tried to scramble away, his legs kicking fruitlessly at the metal surface of the chair.

“What have you brought me, Grand Inquisitor?” the masked figure asked in a deep voice.

The Pau’an lowered his head respectfully and replied in a crisp core accent, “Depa Billaba’s padawan my lord.”

“Ah, the lost padawan.” There was recognition in the figure’s tone that made Kanan’s skin crawl. “Caleb Dume.”

Kanan shook his head, ignoring the spark of pain that flared behind his eyes. No, _no_ that wasn’t him. His name was Kanan, _Kanan Jarrus_ – not Caleb.

“We shall see.” The deep voice echoed in Kanan’s mind. The figure reached his gloved hand towards Kanan’s face and everything went dark.

_“Follow along younglings.” Master Luminara said. “And do try to stay together.”_

_Caleb looked around the busy hallway of the Republic Senate building with wide eyes. Species from all over the galaxy roamed the gleaming corridors, running to and fro with data pads in their hands or having hushed conversations as they wandered by. Caleb watched them all with curiosity. He could already feel the questions bubbling to the forefront of his mind._

_Sammo could sense it too and sent a sharp elbow into his side. “Don’t even think about it Dume.” He hissed. “We haven’t even been assigned a Senator yet.”_

_Caleb stuck out his tongue but his Twi’lek cohort had already turned his attention back on Master Luminara. He folded his hands up in his robe and continued on. Nerves ate at his belly as he walked. Today they would be assigned a senator to shadow for five full rotations to learn how the governing body worked. Some of the older initiates had tried to scare him with stories of mean senators and long boring hours of doing nothing but standing around. Caleb had tried to brush their teasing away but some of the fear still remained._

_No, not fear – a Jedi didn’t fear silly things like that. He was just cautious, that’s all. And Master Kenobi always said with was wise to be_ cautious _._

_The graceful Mirialan Master stopped outside of an arched silver doorway and waved her hand over the door chime. The doors parted silently and she ushered the younglings in._

_Caleb, pushed to the back by his cohort mates, Sammo and Tai, stood on the tips of his toes to try and see the Senator they were going to be spending time with._

_“Senator Amidala.” Master Luminara said. “May I introduce the younglings who will be shadowing you this week, Sammo Quid, Tai Uzuma, and Caleb Dume.”_

_Caleb darted to the side of Tai to stand in line with his friends, smoothing down the fold of his tunic._

_Senator Amidala was beautiful, with dark hair pulled dramatically from her kind face and held in place with thin golden strips of metal. Her gowns were a deep purple that shimmered like twilight. She stood before them with a warm smile that chased away all the fears Caleb had about this assignment._

_“Hello!” she offered kindly. “I can’t wait to learn more-_

_-But why?” Caleb whispered. They were in the Senate Chamber, thousands of worlds represented in one echoing room. Chancellor Palpatine stood in the center on a raised dais, calming listening to two senators arguing with one another._

_Senator Amidala smiled down at him. “You certainly like that word, don’t you?”_

_Caleb blinked, confused. “What word?”_

_“Why.” She chuckled._

_“He doesn’t know when to stop using it.” Tai grumbled from the other side of the senator._

_“Well I think it’s a wonderful thing.”_

_Caleb blushed. “I guess it is kind of annoying.” He mumbled._

_“There is nothing wrong with asking questions youngling, as long as you are asking the right ones.”_

_“But how will I know if they are the right ones?”_

_“Now, that is a question I can’t answer for you. That one you’ll have to figure out on-_

_-Senator Amidala wrapped him up in a warm hug, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “I’m going to miss having you younglings around!” she said taking a step back._

_Caleb could feel the heat color his cheeks. Even Sammon’s face was more purple than blue. Tia, well Tia was Tia but Caleb could tell that she appreciated the Senator’s praise. “I hope to see you around after you pass your trials.”_

_“Maybe so if we ever put an end to this war.” A new voice said from the doorway. Senator Amidala’s face lit up as she looked at the Master who came to collect them._

_“Ani – I mean, Master Skywalker!” she flushed. “What are you doing here?”_

_“I came to get these younglings out of your hair.” Master Skywalker smirked._

_Caleb felt his heart stutter in his chest. Master Skywalker! Master Skywalker was going to take them back to the Temple! Maybe he could give him some lightsaber pointers or maybe he could explain how-_

Kanan slammed back to the present. Bile climbed up his throat burning the abused flesh. He barely had the strength to turn his head before he retched. Tears and snot ran down his face as he heaved, his mind a swirling mist of polluted memories. Tendrils of the dark side clung to him, unrelenting in their torment.

The Sith had torn into his mind with calculated anger and vengeance. Ripping into long forgotten memories and tossing them aside until he found what he was looking for. And when he did, he sunk his fingers in and held fast – talons that scraped his grey matter, poison flooding his bloodstream. The pain was more than a physical sensation, more than just a brief moment in time, it was everything.

“Leave us.” The Sith commanded. Kanan couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped his cracked lips.

“My Lord?”

“I said leave us.”

The Sith reached his hand out once again, his hunger palpable.

Kanan screamed.

*

The Grand Inquisitor stood by as the security droids threw the limp form of the padawan formally known as Caleb Dume into the cell. His anger simmered right below the surface as he observed the man’s state. He was battered and beaten but that was all done at his own hand and not what had him clenching his back teeth in frustration. The physical wounds would heal but wounds of the mind…those took time that he simply did not have.

The man, this _Kanan_ _Jarrus_ as he called himself, was conscious but only just. His eyes wandered unseeingly across the dark walls of his cell with a feverish quality. He hadn’t moved from where the droids had thrown him, he hadn’t even flinched when his head bounced sharply off the hard floor. It was the Grand Inquisitor’s job – no his _duty_ to the Empire – to break the padawan’s spirit and mold him into the Emperor’s fist. But Vader had done more than simply bend the man to his will; he had decimated him in every sense of the word. Or so it would seem.

It had been too long since the Inquisition had gotten their hands on a viable candidate, a Jedi padawan no less. He may be older now but he was still yet to fully reach his potential. He had the remains of a training bond just waiting to be reconnected and used. And with the Grand Inquisitor leading the charge, he could create a pupil that could match that of Lord Vader himself.

The few Purge survivors they had managed to capture alive were unable to carry the full weight of the dark side. They were weak minded, easily swayed by their raging emotions. They were loose cannons, prone to violence and fear that lead to their doom. And the feral Force users they had begrudgingly recruited lacked the raw power the Grand Inquisitor needed.

But this padawan, he was different. Strong in the Force, more so than the others. And he had lived a good portion of his life outside of the Jedi Temple; the teachings of old had worn away leaving behind a workable canvas he could use to serve the Empire.

That is if Lord Vader hadn’t completely ruined it with his mind probe.

The Grand Inquisitor closed his eyes and reaching out through the Force he sought out the padawan’s mind. He had only touched the surface of the padawan’s consciousness when he heard the man gasp – weak, pathetic moan. There was pain, excruciating pain that radiated from the man’s very soul. Broken fragments of memories swirled around the desolate landscape, flashes of images once bright and glowing now dim and cracked. Lord Vader had searched his mind with all the precision of a dull hammer turning the padawan’s mind into a wasteland.

He broke off the connection and opened his eyes. The man on the floor was shivering, his lips forming words but no sound escaped him. The Grand Inquisitor’s hands clenched in fury. This would not do. He could not perform his task with something as broken as this.

He felt his master’s presence long before he heard his harsh breathing. Lord Vader was a dark cloud of aggression, his passion as turbulent as a storm. Something he had seen in the padawan’s mind had sent him into a spiral, his longing and hatred burning through the frigid air.

“My Lord.” The Grand Inquisitor kneeled.

Lord Vader paid him no mind. Instead he turned his masked face on the crumbled form of the padawan still unmoving behind the ray shield.

“What is your command?” he tried again.

The silence from his master stretched on, only the moans and cries from the other prisoners audible over the sound of Lord Vader’s breathing. Finally his lord turned his sightless eyes on him. “There is great power in this one.”

The Grand Inquisitor nodded solemnly. “Indeed my lord. He will make a formidable Inquisitor.”

“His mind must not be corrupted.”

“My lord?”

“Break his spirit, control him however you must but his mind must remain untouched.”

The Grand Inquisitor shifted uncomfortably. The mind was the key to the spirit. If he could not corrupt the padawan’s mind how was he to transform him into what the Empire needed him to be? And who was to say that he would even recover from the damage his master had done? “And if he becomes corrupted?”

The Force fluctuated around the Grand inquisitor, his throat constricting ever so slightly. “It would be in your best interest to see that he does not.”

“As you command.” He swallowed thickly. “So it will be.”

Lord Vader turned to leave, his dark cloak flaring out behind him. The Grand Inquisitor rose to his feet, casting a sidelong glance at the padawan. His objective has now changed. A dark thrill rose in his chest. Break the Jedi but only just, dampen his spirit and will to fight. A macabre shell of a Jedi forced to do the dark side’s bidding.

A smile curled on his lips. This would be a fine challenge indeed.

*

Padme was alive in the padawan’s mind, bright and beautiful. He clung to it with an iron grip. His own memories of her had been tainted by his pain and sorrow but in Caleb Dume’s mind she was perfect. He watched from afar how she handled all of the padawan’s incessant questions with a kindness he didn’t think the youngling deserved. His heart ached at the soft smile that played on her lips, the gentleness in her eyes.

He often wondered if she would have been like this with their own child, had they survived. It made him want to hold the precious memories even closer. So he ripped them from their mooring and clutched them tightly in his hands. The broken padawan on the cell floor screamed.

Ahsoka was there too. He never knew they had been close but Caleb had many memories of them together tucked away. The padawan had tried to hide them, but he was stronger. Only the Emperor himself could overpower him when he set his mind to something, Caleb was hording memories all too precious to be hidden away in his feeble little mind.

The memories were warm and filled with childlike adoration. Caleb looked up to his apprentice a great deal, their friendship blossoming over a span of random encounters. It made him long to see her again. If there was a chance she had survived, perhaps she would join him. Perhaps if Caleb became what the Grand Inquisitor envisioned, she too would follow down the same path. 

His master wouldn’t allow for him to linger like this for much longer. Sooner or later he would figure out why he continued to visit Caleb Dume and put an end to it. His future was not in his past. There was no power in the galaxy that could bring back those he had lost.

But he couldn’t just leave. Not when he knew _they_ lived on in the padawan’s mind. It pained the boy, he knew. Each memory he touched left a seeping wound that oozed poison. It ate away at his soul but he didn’t care. Padme, Ahsoka, they were _his_. Caleb Dume had no right to them.

Padme and Ahsoka were alive in the boy and the _boy was his_.

*

Kanan often dreamed about dying, of falling asleep and never waking, of laying down his lightsaber and letting the other Inquisitors do their worst. Those were the good dreams but they were few and far between. Most nights passed the same as his waking hours, one continuous nightmare after another. The dark side was everywhere, in every breath, every heartbeat, every hit, and every new scar. It surrounded Kanan’s life completely, pressing down on him until he was sure one day he would crack from the pressure. Or if he was lucky, he’d die.

He had tried to end it all after Lord Vader’s first trip into his mind, once he recovered enough to realize what was happening. He still had the scars on his wrists, not that he could see them. His masters made sure he couldn’t try again by slapping heavy durasteel braces on his forearms. They were pointless because Kanan knew he wouldn’t try again. The echoes of the prisoner’s screams chased away those day dreams. He wouldn’t let other’s die for him – because of him.

The Grand Inquisitor learned early on that there was more than one way to keep someone in chains.

They kept him in line by stocking the prison cells with innocents. For every misstep, every refusal to follow an order, they would die. One by one. And if he tried to kill himself again, they would all be slaughtered while he was forced to watch. So Kanan did as he was commanded.

Kanan was subjected to every horror the Inquisition could think of and he bore it so the others wouldn’t have too. He did unspeakable things to keep the innocent lives held captive at the spire safe. He darkened his soul so that they would continue to live.

His masters took joy out of his pain, reveling at the sight of a former Jedi forced into Imperial servitude. And then there were the times Lord Vader came for him. Tearing into Kanan’s mind with reckless abandon, searching until there was nothing left but unimaginable pain. It was always the same. Senator Amidala. Ahsoka Tano. The Clones. Once, even Master Kenobi. After that trip down memory lane, Kanan had to spend two months in the seldom used med bay recovering from the trauma. Sometimes Kanan wished he never did.

But like always, Kanan survived to live another day.

Because Lord Vader needed him.

He needed Kanan’s memories like a drug, like they were the only thing keeping him alive. They way he clung to them, re-watching the same thing over and over until Kanan didn’t believe he had any other memories _except_ for those. At first, he came nearly every day, violating his mind again and again, Lord Vader’s pain blending with his own, becoming one tangled mess of unending suffering. What little light was left in Kanan, Lord Vader clung to it like a dying man. 

Even after years of being steeped in the dark side of the Force, there was still some part of him that flickered with light. No matter how hard the Grand Inquisitor tried to snuff it out, it remained. After all of the horrors the hand committed in the Emperor’s name, he couldn’t deny who he really was, what he really was.

“Jedi.” The Seventh Sister snapped. One of her droids clacked its pincers to get his attention. Kanan looked up from where he was kneeling in his cell. Her face was distorted by the flickering lines of the ray shield and twisted in a disgusted sneer. She still bore a healing gash on the side of her cheek courtesy of Kanan. Master Billaba would be displeased at the pleasure he took from the sight of it.

Master Billaba would be displeased with a lot of things Kanan did.

“Our Master has an assignment for you.” She flicked a wrist at the cell lock, the ray shield fizzling out of existence. “Try not to die on this one. Or maybe do.”

Kanan didn’t respond. He wordlessly took the data pad with his assignment and stepped out of his cell. The Seventh Sister gave him a wide berth as he passed, air hissing out between her teeth. Kanan smirked. They hated him because they knew he was stronger than them. Stronger physically, mentally, and most importantly, stronger in the Force. Those that tried to go up against him met the same fate. A quick death at the end of his blade.

Kanan read over the mission detail as he made his way to the hanger. Rumors of a force sensitive youngling on Lothal that needed to be investigated and confirmed.

Kanan sighed and silently hoped that his TIE would malfunction in hyperspace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you to those who have left comments/kudos/bookmarks and subscribed! I really appericate it! This is the final chapter! This story was mostly thought up in little snippets of action that I've been using to help me get back on track with writing. I might come back to this and expand on it and make it a longer fic but for now it's done. I hope you enjoy!

Ahsoka didn’t believe Sato when he said they had captured the Inquisitor known as the Shadow. She didn’t believe it as the Ghost soared through hyperspace en route to the _Liberator_. She still found it hard to believe even as she stood in front of the cell that contained him with his lightsaber clipped to her belt. Phoenix Squadron had done it. They really had captured the Shadow.

It made her uneasy. The Shadow had been a thorn in the Rebellion side for years. Supply convoys turned to star dust before they could deliver their payload, political dissidents found dead in their homes, rebel cells turned to ash – all at the dark figure’s hand. Not to mention his recent obsession with stalking the _Ghost_ crew all over the galaxy. Ahsoka had a horrible sinking feeling that his sudden interest in this cell of rebels was because of Ezra but, new stalking abilities aside, the rebellion had laid more than one trap to capture the elusive assassin and had yet to be successful, until now. It made her weary that his apparent capture was part of a bigger trap.

The Inquisitor was kneeling on the floor of his cell, his head bowed in meditation. He didn’t look up as Ahsoka approached. She could feel the Force radiating from him, strong and powerful. But unlike most Inquisitors that she had met, there was no rage, no sharp sting of hate that fueled his power. He was like a stone, hard and impassive. It only made Ahsoka’s suspicion grow.

He was a Purge survivor. He had to be. The way he hid himself in the Force, the balance he had mastered, this man was trained by a Jedi. Ahsoka knew that he certainly wasn’t the first Jedi to fall to the dark side after the Order crumbled. But he would be the first that had survived for this long.

“You should let me go.” The Inquisitor said, not looking up. There was something familiar about his voice that tickled the back of her mind but she couldn’t place it. “If you want everyone on this boat to live.”

“Do you plan on killing them?”

At that, the Inquisitor lifted his head. There was a bruise growing over his left eye, the startling green blue hue of his iris taking her by surprise. There was no yellow, no sinister red of the dark side lingering in there depths. He looked at her with familiarity and…trust of all things. Her eyes traced over him, noting the thick scarring around his neck and the metal braces on his arms that stretched from wrist to elbow. He was young, younger than her by a few years and yet there was an eternity of suffering on his handsome face.

“They’ll come for me.” He replied.

“The other Inquisitors? Why?”

A humorless smirk pulled at his lips. “You should just kill me know or let me go.”

Ahsoka’s unease was growing. He was hiding within the Force but she could feel his pain, his fear and desperation starting to leak out into the open. He wasn’t afraid of the rebels or even her. He was afraid of _them_.

“I’d do it for you but…” he held out his arms, the light catching on the dark braces. “Haven’t had much luck with that.”

Ahsoka felt sick to her stomach. There was something seriously wrong here. The more time she spent with the Inquisitor the less she was thinking this was a trap. Sato and his crew got lucky but they might have just sealed their fate by taking the Inquisitor on board. The doors to the brig opened with a hiss, Hera Syndulla standing in the door way.

She walked into the small space with two of the _Liberator’s_ crewmen flanking her side. Her face was pinched in irritation, a flush of red sitting high on her cheeks.

“Commander Sato wants him in interrogation.” She said in a hard voice. The Inquisitor’s eyes slipped from Ahsoka and landed on the _Ghost’s_ Captain. “Draven is sending an agent. They should be here in fifteen.”

Ahsoka stepped away from the Inquisitor’s cell and came to stand by her side as the crewmen approached with raised blasters. One deactivated the lock on the cell door while the other kept his weapon smartly trained on the figure in black.

The Inquisitor was pulled to his feet and cuffed before being shoved out of the cell. “I’m sorry Ahsoka. I tried to get Sato to listen but you know how Draven is.”

Ahsoka hummed with agreement. General Draven was a prickly soul hardened by the Clone Wars. He wasn’t the type to show mercy, especially towards someone like the Shadow. Hera was the only one to stop him from issuing a death warrant out right. Still she knew that once they made it back to Yavin, the Inquisitor’s hours would be numbered. “I know you did your best. All we can do now is make sure no harm comes to him.” she stood in front of the crewmen escorting the Inquisitor, holding out a hand to stop their approach.

“We have orders Lady Tano.” One of the crewmen said with a wavering voice.

“Captain Syndulla and I will escort him to interrogation.” She said rolling her eyes at the formal title.

“Are you sure ma’am?” the crewman looked nervously at the Inquisitor who hadn’t taken his eyes off of Hera. To her credit, Hera didn’t cower under his gaze. She simple looked back with a blank face.

Ahsoka took the Inquisitor’s arm into her hand. “We can handle it.”

The crewmen nodded and scurried down the hallway leading away from the brig. Hera followed after them, Ahsoka and the Inquisitor just steps behind. They had only made it a few paces when the _Liberator_ shuttered. The lights flickered out as an ear piercing klaxon began sounding. Red emergency lights flooded the hallway.

“Captain Syndulla to the bridge.” Hera breathed into her commlink. “What’s going on?” All she got in return was static. In Ahsoka’s grip, the Inquisitor stiffened. She glanced up at him to see his eyes snapped shut, concentration lining his young face.

“Single light cruiser.” He said. He turned his head slightly, sensing something. “They’ve launched a boarding craft.”

Moments later the hull behind them groaned. There was a crash, the impact throwing Ahsoka to the ground causing her to lose her grip on the Inquisitor. She landed painfully on her knees, her hands splaying out to stop her fall. Hera grunted next to her, her head bouncing off the durasteel floor. The sound of tearing metal echoed around the dark hallway. She scrambled to her feet only to find the Inquisitor already standing, the hilt of his lightsaber in his hands, the cuffs broken at his feet.

Ahsoka reached for her own lightsabers, standing protectively in front of Hera as the Twi’lek struggled to her feet. Only, the Inquisitor wasn’t facing them. Instead he was standing in front of the doors leading back towards the brig. His shoulders were tense ready to fight, the Force trembling with his fear.

“Get her out of here.”

“You can’t face all of them alone.” She could feel the dark sider’s presence, ten of them at least all frothing with rage and bloodlust. They hadn’t come here to rescue the Shadow. They were here to kill.

The Inquisitor turned to face them. His face was resigned, like a man ready to meet his end. Something in Ahsoka roared against it. “I’ll be fine. Get her out of here and get off this ship.” He raised his hands, the Force swelling around her and then, he pushed. Ahsoka and Hera were lifted off the ground, sailing through the hallway until the stopped, just inches away from crashing into the wall of another hallway.

Ahsoka took a step forward, ready to run back to the Inquisitor when the blast doors slammed shut. She was cut off. She pounded on the door, a cry tearing from her throat.

Around her, the Force screamed.

*

His enemies lay in crumbled heaps around his feet, their blood coated his skin and splattered the walls. Their hate was strong, their anger intoxicating, but his will was stronger. They wanted to take him back there and that was something he wasn’t going to let happen. Now only one remained. The Grand Inquisitor stood before him, his lightsaber held at the ready.

“I do admire your persistence.” He mocked. “Ready to die?”

Kanan smiled viciously.

The Grand Inquisitor came for him, swinging this lightsaber down in a powerful arch aiming for Kanan’s neck. He parried the attack with ease, pulling at the Force to push the Grand Inquisitor back. Their blades met again and again in a furious cackle of energy, their muscles straining as they fought against one another. Kanan slipped on the severed arm of the Seventh Sister, giving the Grand Inquisitor the opportunity to strike. Pain seared across his stomach as his fiery blade drover across his midsection. He faltered his mouth opening in shock. The Grand Inquisitor smiled, his pointed teeth red from the glow of the blade in his hand.

Kanan’s vision swam as the Pau’an inched closer. His abused knees wobbled and threatened to give out but Kanan gnashed his teeth together in an animalistic growl. He had no qualms about dying. But after everything he had gone through, he was going to go out on his own terms. He had no plans of falling at the hands of this monster.

He called on the Force and it rose to answer him. Not the deep black of the dark side but the gentle warmth of the light. It wrapped around him, surging through his veins, setting his bones alight. Kanan tightened his grip on his lightsaber and took a step forward.

“You cannot possibly believe that you can defeat me.” The Grand Inquisitor sneered.

“I defeated them.” Kanan rasped.

“Weaklings, unable to withstand the power of the dark side. You are better than them, strong with the Force padawan. Imagine how much stronger you could be if you only gave in. Let it consume you and you shall never fear death again.”

Kanan gripped his saber tightly in his hands and whispered softly, “There are some things far more frightening than death.”

He reached out with the Force and sprung forward.

*

Exhaustion pulled at Ahsoka as she and Hera made their way down the long corridor of The _Liberator_. The loud klaxon of the security alarm had finally been silenced but she could still feel the vibrations echoing through the tips of her montrals. Her arms felt like lead weights, her feet dragged on the scuffed floor but still she pushed on.

Hera didn’t seem to be fairing any better. Her green lekku hung slack against her head and her shoulders held a certain type of weariness that only came after battle. But like Ahsoka, her eyes were sharp with anticipation. She knew just as well that not everyone was accounted for.

Up ahead the blast doors leading to the brig were sealed shut. Ahsoka could feel the darkness creeping through the heavy durasteel doors, its cold tendrils sliding off of her like oil, making her shiver. Her hands reached for the lightsabers, their weight a comfort as she grew closer to the encroaching darkness.

Hera held her blaster close to her chest as she darted towards the door control. She looked at Ahsoka waiting for confirmation. Ahsoka took a brief moment to breathe deep and find her center. The dark side was thick here – it spoke of violence, of death. She didn’t know what she would find behind the sealed doors but she did know that whatever she found wasn’t going to be good.

Ahsoka nodded to Hera, igniting her lightsabers and holding them at the ready. The doors slid open with a silent hiss revealing a darkened hallway cast in the eerie red glow from the emergency lights. The normally pristine white of the walls were stained with blood and ichor. All around at their feet were the bodies of the Inquisitors.

Beside her, Hera gagged, covering her mouth with one hand. Ahsoka could feel her own stomach revolt at the sight. But what drew her eye was the figure slouching against the wall. She picked her way over to him, stepping over severed limbs and discarded lightsabers.

The Inquisitor looked significantly worse from when she had last seen him. When he had used the Force to push her and Hera away from the onslaught of black clad Inquisitors and sealed the doors shut behind them, cutting them off from the threat. He was bloodied, dark hair matted with the thick substance. There was a nasty gash that ran down the length of his face, his sharp nose was broken and blood dribbled from his cracked lips. Ahsoka dragged her eyes down his dark uniform, catching on the way he held his middle protectively and the odd way his left leg was angled.

“Is he alive?” Hera asked. Her concern was palpable, cutting though the inky stench of the dark side. She wanted this Inquisitor to live. In fact, she had been the only one standing in defense of the Inquisitor when the rest of the rebels wanted him dead. Ahsoka had learned through her travels with the _Ghost’s_ Crew, Hera always saw the good in people, even those as dark as an Inquisitor.

And yet, there was a part of her that agreed with Hera. For some reason Ahsoka didn’t quite understand, she wanted him to survive as well. He was familiar to her and she wanted to know why. She crouched down near his body and placed two fingers against his throat feeling for a pulse. His strange blue green eyes snapped open at the contact.

“Easy.” She said as calmly as she could. The Force swelled around her as the Inquisitor pulled it to his aid. It faltered moments later leaving the man panting in uneven, hitching breaths. “Easy.”

There was a wild, glassy look to his eyes as they roamed aimlessly around the blood soaked hallway. Fever bright and hanging on the edge of oblivion. They came into focus as they landed on Hera and then Ahsoka herself.

“Tried-” he started, wincing as if the words caused him physical pain. “stop – them.”

“I’d say you succeeded in that Inquisitor.” She gestured to the destruction that was the hallway.

The Inquisitor shook his head. “Not my n-”

Whatever he was trying to say was lost in his sharp gasp of pain. He removed the arm that was protecting his middle, revealing a deep gash that nearly bisected him. With a shaking hand he struggled to remove one of his thick gloves. Several of his fingers were broken, Ahsoka noticed as he held out his damaged hand looking at her pleadingly.

Cautiously she took the inquisitor's hand into her own and felt her mind ripped from her body. 

She was standing in a training dojo, back at the Jedi temple, the white room glowing with sunlight. Ahsoka stood in awe for a moment, the familiar sights and smells of home flooding her senses. Even in the Inquisitors mind she could feel the energy of the Temple, the Force moving around her in a gentle current. Her heart ached. 

In the center of the room there was a group of younglings sparring with wooden sabers. A boy, impossibly small and with a shock of dark hair was knocked to the ground by one of his training partners. Instead of helping the child to his feet, they laughed at him. Self righteous anger flooded through her at the sight but before she could take a step forward someone else came into view. 

Ahsoka took a step backward in surprise. A younger version of herself crouched down to pull the youngling to his feet. She couldn't have been more than fourteen years old given the thin beaded chain that ran down her back lekku.

 _"You shouldn't be laughing."_ her younger self said her voice full of the self righteousness that she had felt moments ago. _"A Jedi helps those in need. They don't push them down."_

The boy's training partners looked away, ashamed. _"Sorry Padawan Tano."_ they replied before scurrying from the room, their practice sabers clattering to the ground. 

The boy looked up at her younger self with naked adoration. He had the same strange blue green eyes as the Inquisitor. _"Thank you Padawan Tano."_ he said in his small little voice. 

_"Call me Ahsoka."_ the memory of her said with a warm smile. 

_"I'm Caleb."_

The room around her shifted in a grey haze. Soon she found herself in the Temple commissary. Outside the tall windows that lined the circular hall there was the purple tint of night. The lights of the speeders and hovercraft moved like shooting stars. The hall was empty save for the two figures seated at one of the long tables. 

It was the boy, Caleb, from the dojo sitting across from another version of herself. They both looked older than they had in the last memory but still impossibly young. Her younger self seemed tired but she was following along with Caleb's animated tale. 

_"And then Master Billaba stopped the bomb from exploding with the Force,"_ he paused looking starstruck before saying _"'Soka it was the_ coolest _thing I have ever seen."_

 _"What happened to the bomber?"_ she heard herself ask as she picked over her food. 

Caleb's face fell somber. _"He jumped from the roof. We couldn't save him."_

Ahsoka watched as she placed a gentle hand on top of the boys. Her own recollection of this moment suddenly struck her. She had just gotten back from the front to find the Temple in a state of chaos. A Separatist agent had infiltrated the Temple in an attempt to carry out an assassination ordered by General Grievous and in the middle of all of it was little Caleb Dume. 

Caleb was a padawan just a few years younger than her, not yet assigned a Master. After that day in the dojo he had taken a shine to her, following her around whenever she was at the Temple. He was a curious little thing, always asking questions when his classmates would rather he not. He was a sweet kid, small for his age but powerful. The Force moved in him in a way Ahsoka had only seen in a few Jedi but unlike those Jedi, she didn't think Caleb was aware of the power he possessed.

They were, at one time, good friends. But then he and Master Depa Billaba joined the Clone Wars and she left the order. After that, well, there wasn't much hope that little Caleb Dume survived the Purge. There wasn't much hope for any of them.

 _"That was a very brave thing you did Caleb."_ her younger self said to the boy. _"A little reckless but brave."_

Caleb shot her a wiry look. _"You'd know all about being reckless. I've heard all about the things you get up to with Master Skywalker. Master Kenobi is always complaining about you two to Master Billaba."_

In the memory, she flicked a piece of food at his face and laughed.

Once again, the memory swirled in a haze of grey and she found herself outside in a Temple garden. The sun was warm on her skin, even in the memory. Out in the grass she saw herself and Caleb sparring, the flash of his two blue lightsabers clashing with her green brightly in the sharp afternoon light. 

_"You're getting good at this."_ she smiled as he blocked her downward strike. 

_"What can I say, I learned from the best."_

The fight went on for a few more minutes until Caleb suddenly deactivated his sabers and fell to the ground, gazing up at the sky above. 

_"When are you due to leave?"_ Ahsoka asked, lying down next to him.

_"Tonight."_

_"You'll be fine."_ she assured him. _"Just remember your training and listen to your Master."_

 _"I always listen to my master."_ He gave her a knowing look. Ahsoka smiled with her younger self. _"I'll miss you 'Soka."_

_"We'll see each other again Caleb Dume."_

Ahsoka snapped back to the present with a gasp. Hera was calling her name, her hand gently shaking her shoulder. Her blaster was pointed at the Inquisitor - no, that wasn't his name. 

She glanced down at the crumpled form of her friend smiling up at her through bloodied teeth. 

"See you - 'Soka." he managed to ground out before his eyes rolled back into his head and his body went slack. 

"Hera." Ahsoka said barely above a whisper, sorrow ripping her apart at the seams. "Get a stretcher down here _now_." 

*

Ezra slowly hedged away from the tight cluster of arguing rebels, their voices sharp whispers that echoed off of the vine covered walls of the medbay, inching closer and closer to the cracked door of the private room. Ever since the _Liberator_ had limped its way back to _Phoenix Nest_ , he could feel a tugging in the back of his mind, pulling at him. It was not unlike the feeling he had when he was around Ahsoka, like there was a gentle thread of _something_ that connected their minds. Only what he was feeling now was no gentle thread. This felt more like a heavy durasteel chain wrapping around his conscience and _pulling_.

It had only gotten stronger as _Phoenix Nest_ touched down on Yavin, the injured being rushed from the transport vessel into the bowls of the ancient Massassi base – including the Inquisitor. Ezra had a sinking suspicion that whatever was pulling at him, was leading him to the dark sider.

He ducked inside the room and blinked at the sudden darkness. The only source of light was coming from the dim glow of the bacta-tank. Ezra approached the tank with hesitant steps, his eyes fixed on the figure suspended in the thick healing goo.

Locked away in the tank, the Inquisitor didn’t look much like a threat. His dark hair floated in the gentle current, obscuring the man’s haunted face. The eerie glow made his tanned skin look pale and the multitude of scars that littered his body, ghost like. Ezra stopped a foot away from the tank, his hand reaching out to brush against the smooth transparasteel.

The instant his fingers touched the cool surface a jolt ran through his body causing him to gasp and stumble backwards. In the tank, the Inquisitor’s body twitched as if he had been electrocuted.

 _Ok_ , Ezra thought shaking himself out. _That was weird_. All around him the air hummed with a sound that made his skin buzz, his bones echoing with the resonance. He had heard this sound before, when he first saw Ahsoka’s lightsabers, the crystals in the singing with the Force. As Ezra reached out to touch the tank again, the humming got louder.

Logically he knew that he should probably go get Hera or find Ahsoka. He shouldn’t be anywhere near a dark sider – let alone the person who was stalking him, mostly likely to _kill_ him – but the pull he felt towards the Inquisitor was too strong to ignore.

“I must be out of my mind.” He said aloud as he slipped down to the floor, crossing his legs. Resting his hands flat on his thighs, he took a breath and closed his eyes trying to focus his mind on the connection he could feel radiating from the Inquisitor.

When he opened them again he found himself standing in a long cavernous hallway. Golden light spilled in from the tall windows making the elegantly tiled floor glow with jewel tones. There were people of all different species scattered around the space, most of them clad in thick brown robes and gathered in small clusters. But there were children too, running together in groups with their cheerful voices echoing off the high walls.

Ezra was in awe. He had never seen such a beautiful place or felt the Force as purely as he did here. He was itching to explore but there was _something_ he had to do first. He wasn’t sure what it was but it called to him. A group of children ran by, Ezra turning as they rushed past, watching as they darted out into a brightly lit courtyard.

He followed behind them, his steps soundless on the polished floor. Outside the air was warm and the blue sky was crossed with organized lanes of air traffic. He could make out the tall outlines of buildings that stretched onward for as far as the eye could see. But what he found more interesting was the tree that stood in the center of the courtyard and the figure sitting on the ground beside it.

There were trees on Lothal but none quite like this one. This tree seemed to glow from the inside out, a slight shimmer that outlined the branches and the green waxy leaves that danced in the light breeze. For a moment, every worry that Ezra ever had vanished. All he could feel was the bright, pure light pouring from the tree. But then the figure sitting on the sun dappled grass moved and Ezra froze.

The Inquisitor was looking at him with those strange green blue eyes. He didn’t look surprise to see Ezra standing before him, wherever he was. He regarded Ezra for a moment before his gaze slipped away, falling on two people sitting on bench not far from the tree.

Shoving his hands awkwardly into his pockets, Ezra inched closer to the seated Inquisitor against his better judgment. But the Inquisitor didn’t flinch. He just breathed deeply from his nose before saying, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I don’t even know where here _is_.” Ezra responded. The pair that had captured the Inquisitor’s attention was standing now, a young boy maybe a few years younger than himself and a woman with dark skin and hair that was braided into elaborate twists at the back of her head. They were moving in harmony, arms and legs going through slow but deliberate movements. The Inquisitor didn’t or couldn’t take his eyes off of them.

“You’re in my head.” Was all the Inquisitor said.

“Well I didn’t mean to. I just felt – I don’t know what I felt – I just closed my eyes and somehow I ended up here.”

The young boy over balanced nearly falling to the ground before the woman caught him, a playful smile growing on her lips. The Inquisitor’s mouth tightened.

“You’re strong with the Force. It allowed you to connect with me.”

“Why?”

At that, the Inquisitor turned his attention away from the woman and child to land on Ezra. “You tell me.”

“Are you going to kill me?” He blurted.

“Kind of hard to kill someone when you’re not even conscious.”

“That’s not an answer.” Ezra pointed out shifting from the heaviness of the Inquisitor’s gaze.

“I’m not going to kill you Ezra.”

“You were following us on Lothal before Sato caught you.” He tried to ignore the fact that the Inquisitor knew his name. “Were you _going_ to kill me?”

The Inquisitor looked away. Panic began to climb at Ezra’s throat. What was he _doing_? Hera and Ahsoka and even _Zeb_ had told him specifically to stay away from the Inquisitor and here he was, in the guy’s mind of all places. The Inquisitor might not kill him but the others? Oh they were _definitely_ going to kill him.

“That’s what my master wanted.” The Inquisitor finally said.

“But is that what you wanted?”

The Inquisitor looked out to the woman and child. They were seated now, their eyes closed in meditation. The Inquisitor’s brows drew together, a crease forming on his forehead. “I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I didn’t want to do and before this is all over, I’ll do more. But I don’t – I didn’t – want to kill you Ezra.”

Ezra bit at his lip, sitting down across from the Inquisitor. “Are we connected?” he asked. “Like in the Force?”

The barest hint of a smile touched the Inquisitor’s lips. “For some kriffing reason, it would appear that we are.”

“But why? I mean, like no offence but you’re an Inquisitor and I’m just me. Why would the Force connect us?”

“I gave up trying to understand the ways of the Force a long time ago. Your guess is as good as mine kid.”

Ezra picked a blade of grass, rolling it between his fingers. “Do you know what’s going to happen to you when you wake up?”

The Inquisitor sighed. He looked tired. There were bags under his eyes and a weary set to his shoulders. He looked completely and utterly human. “Nothing good I imagine.” He mumbled.

Ezra blinked in surprise. “Why would you say that? You just about saved everyone on the _Liberator_! You killed the Grand Inquisitor! Why would you think something bad is going to happen?”

“It doesn’t matter what I did.” The Inquisitor said looking up into the branches overhead. “One good deed can’t wash away a lifetime of evil.”

“But you’re not evil.” The words fell out of Ezra’s mouth before he could stop them. But they still rang true to his ears. Just as he was sure Lothal had two moons, he was certain this Inquisitor was not evil.

The Inquisitor smiled, the gesture unexpected on his somber face. “I don’t think your friends out there would agree with you. I’m not sure _I_ agree with you.”

Ezra opened his mouth to protest when the ground beneath them shook. The Inquisitor jumped to his feet, the neat organized line of speeders and shuttles began falling from the sky, the clear blue giving way to a deep black. Electricity hung thick in the air, the temperature dropping and the gentle breeze swirling into a persistent wind. He reached out a hand for Ezra to take, pulling him up. Warmth spread through his glove onto Ezra’s hand.

“What’s happening?” Ezra asked. The stones of the courtyard began to crack and the miles and miles of buildings disappeared into a thick fog that was fast approaching.

“Nothing good.” The Inquisitor responded. “It’s time for you to wake up Ezra.” He placed a hand on Ezra’s chest and pushed.

Ezra snapped back to the present with a gasp to find himself being hauled to is feet by Zeb’s familiar purple arms.

Inside the bacta-tank, the Inquisitor trashed.

*

Hera stood in front of Zeb and Ezra, trying to block the teen’s view of the Inquisitor being taken out of bacta tank. He didn’t need to see how his body thrashed as he was removed from the healing substance or how his half healed wounds seeped fresh blood down his skin. Ezra didn’t need to see it but Hera did. She used the sight to fuel her anger.

Draven had gotten into the Council’s ear before Hera had the chance stop him and convinced them that the rebellion shouldn’t be using its limited resources on the enemy – as if the Inquisitor hadn’t just saved all of Phoenix Squadron’s life just hours ago. It was cruel and it made Hera’s fists clench in fury.

She had still been arguing with him as they walked into the private room to find Ezra on the floor in front of the tank. After that any hope she had to keep the Inquisitor submerged in the bacta went up in smoke. Even after all he had done for them in the past few hours, they still saw the Inquisitor as a threat.

Hera couldn’t blame them, not completely. The Shadow had caused the deaths of many of her friends and fellow rebels. But what she had seen, what she had heard, she wasn’t all that certain the Inquisitor was on the side of the Empire.

“Zeb, take Ezra back to the Ghost.” She ordered.

“What?!” The teen squawked, trying to worm his way out of the Lasat’s firm grip. “No! I need to know if he’s going to be okay!”

“I will let you know his condition as soon as I can but you shouldn’t be here Ezra, it’s not safe.”

“He’s not going to hurt me!” He argued. “He doesn’t want to hurt anyone!”

Hera caught his chin in her gloved hand, holding it gently so that his attention was solely on her. “I know that Ezra, I do. But please, just go with Zeb.”

Ezra swallowed thickly and nodded. She turned her attention to Zeb. His purple face looked pale under his fur. “Call Sabine back and have the engines on standby.”

“What are you planning?” The Lasat asked. His ears perked up at the sound of the door opening. Ahsoka appeared looking as tired and frustrated as Hera felt. Behind her Mon Mothma and Senator Organa followed.

“Just do it? Please?”

“You got it boss.” He responded. “C’mon kid.”

Ezra tried to give the Inquisitor one last look but Zen turned and marched him out of the private room before he could see anymore.

The med droids had gotten the man free of the binders and had moved his still convulsing form onto a hover stretcher.

“Senator Mothma, Senator Organa,” Hera addressed the new arrivals. “I simply must protest. Inquisitor or not, this man deserves medical treatment.”

Mon Mothma placed a comforting hand on Hera’s shoulder. “While I agree with you Captain Syndulla, the Council has spoken.”

“So are we just going to let him die? After all he’s done?”

Bail Organa watched with guarded eyes as the Inquisitor was placed onto a bed. “Ahsoka says that Force users heal much faster that a normal person. It is not likely that he will die.”

“Then how do you explain that?” she jerked a thumb over her shoulder. Ahsoka then broke away from the group and approached the bed. The security forces that Draven sent to oversee the Inquisitor tightened their grips on their blasters but backed away at her glare. Hera watched as she placed a gentle hand on his sweaty brow and closed her eyes. Instantly the shaking that had taken hold of the man’s body stopped and his handsome face relaxed.

He looked small against the white sheets – at odds with Hera’s memory of him, the dark figure that seemed to swallow the light. Gone was his imposing presences, now he looked as weak and helpless as a newborn tooka. His arms were free of the thick metal braces that had covered them from wrist to elbow, revealing long jagged scars. There weren’t the only scars on the Inquisitor’s body but they were the most telling. However he came to be in the imperial service, it wasn’t voluntary.

“What are we going to do now?” She asked the Senators.

General Draven stepped forward from where he was watching the Inquisitor’s removal and said, “I say that we get all the information we can out of him and then let him pay for his sins in front of a firing squad.”

Hera’s blood pounded in her ears. But before she could say anything Mon Mothma raised a hand. “We are not executioners General Draven.”

“So we just let him live after all the lives he has taken?”

“We do.” Hera snapped back. “How many among our ranks are Imperial defectors? How many have realized their mistakes and tried to make amends? How can we grant them a second chance and not the Inquisitor? The very man who saved not only my life but the life of my crew and the _Liberator’s_ crew? I say we let him live because if we don’t, we are no better than the Empire.”

Draven’s mouth thinned. “Then what do we do with him? He can’t stay here. If the Inquisition found him on the _Liberator_ what’s to say they won’t track him back to our base?”

“There isn’t anyone left alive to hunt for him.” Ahsoka said. Her eyes were still closed and her hand still resting on the Inquisitor’s forehead. There were lines of pain around her mouth, an incredible sadness that rested on her shoulders. She had known the Inquisitor, before he had become an agent of the Empire. He was a Jedi, like her. “But I agree with General Draven.” She finally opened her eyes. “He cannot stay here.”

“What do you we propose we do with him?” Senator Organa asked.

“Release him into my custody. I will oversee his recovery.” Ahoska stated. “I will require Captain Syndulla and her crew, if she is willing?”

Hera hid her smile but agreed solemnly. “We would be honored.” As much as she hated to agree with Draven, Hera knew that the Inquisitor couldn’t stay on Yavin. It was true that the rebellion was home to many Imperial turn coats, but even among the defector’s ranks, an Inquisitor would not be welcomed. And she didn’t trust that Draven or any of his agents wouldn’t try to take him out if given the chance. The safest place for him would be on the _Ghost_.

Mon Mothma nodded her head and said, “Then it is decided. Once the Inquisitor is stable enough to be moved, he will be released into the custody of Lady Tano for the remainder of his rehabilitation. At the time he has fully recovered, we will reassess how to proceed.”

“You’re making a mistake.” Draven hissed. “That thing will be the death of us all.” He didn’t wait around for any rebuttal, just turned on his heal and stormed from the room, his security forces following close behind.

Hera watched him leave with a smug grin of satisfaction on her face.

“Are you sure you can handle this Ahsoka?” Senator Organa asked.

The Torguta looked down at the sleeping Inquisitor, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “Caleb is not a threat to me or anyone on Hera’s crew. We will be fine Bail.”

Her words seemed to satisfy the senators, both taking their leave moments later leaving Hera alone with Ahsoka.

“I hope you don’t mind me getting in the way of that epic rescue mission you are surely plotting. I felt that it might be more beneficial if we chose a more…diplomatic option than breaking him out.” Ahsoka smiled.

Hera felt her shoulders drop. She hadn’t even realized the tension she had been carrying. “I suppose your plan was better than mine.” She chuckled then in a more serious tone said, “Thank you Ahsoka, for helping me.”

Ahsoka reached for one of her hands and help it tightly. “Thank you for believing in him.”

Hera glanced down at the Inquisitor, a smile tugging at her lips. “So where are we going to take him?”

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Ahsoka said, “I know the perfect place.”

*

Kanan woke surrounded by warmth and the most beautiful voice ringing in his ears. It was soft and low, full of command yet gentle with kindness. It was unlike anything Kanan had ever heard before. It sent a spike of fear down his spine. He shot up with a jolt and immediately fell back against a cushioned surface with a gasp of pain. Agony ripped across his midsection, chasing the beautiful voice from his mind.

He blinked his eyes open, clearing away the fogginess that came with being unconscious for a long period of time. Hovering just within his field of view was a Twi’lek woman. Kanan didn’t remember there being a Twi’lek Inquisitor, let alone one as stunning as her. Then the events of the past few days came crashing down on him; the boy from Lothal, falling into the Rebellion’s trap, fighting the Inquisitors, Ahsoka.

“Where am I?” he asked in a rough voice. The Twi’lek took a step forward, placing a delicate hand on his forehead. Against his better instincts he leaned into her touch, his skin a cool relief from the heat that was raging in his body. The Twi’lek’s mouth pinched in a frown.

“You’re on the _Ghost_.” She replied. “You’re safe now.”

Kanan huffed a sardonic laugh, wincing at the sharp stab of pain that it caused. He has never been safe a day in his life.

“No one on my ship will harm you.”

“How do you know that I won’t harm you?”

The frown on the Twi’lek’s face grew deeper. Kanan felt a twinge of guilt for putting it there. “You’ve had more than enough chances to do so and you haven’t. I don’t think you will now.”

Kanan closed his eyes. “That’s dangerous naïve of you.”

“Maybe so.” There was a beat of silence. “How are you feeling Caleb?”

“That’s not my name.” he said looking back at her. She took a step back, her hand slipping away.

“Ashoka said…”

“Caleb died with the order. My name is Kanan.” He held out a hand, noticing how it shook. “Kanan Jarrus.”

The Twi’lek took his hand in her green one, the cautious look slipping from her face. “I’m Hera.” 

“Why are you helping me Hera? You know what I am, what I’ve done. Why haven’t you put a blaster bolt between my eyes?”

Hera studied him carefully. Her gaze wasn’t clinical like the Grand Inquisitor, sizing him up hungrily. It wasn’t the blank void of Lord Vader’s mask or even the hateful glare of his fellow Inquisitors. There was caution but firmness in her green eyes, self assurance that was as clear as kyber. Hera was looking at him, not for what he was or what he had been, but what he could be. She was looking at him with hope.

Kanan felt himself pulled into her gaze. For so long he had been looked at with contempt or fear. He had forgotten what it was like to have someone see him and think there was more than just the monster the Inquisition had created – like there was still goodness in him.

There wasn’t much he wanted out of life these days but he knew now that he wanted Hera to look at him like that, always. He would do anything, say anything to keep that beautiful, hopeful shine in her emerald depths.

“I believe in you Kanan Jarrus.” Her words were slow a deliberate, their meaning solid. “And I think you deserve a second chance.”

Kanan could feel his throat tighten. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had believed in him. Was it Master Billaba? Stance? Grey or Styles or Big Mouth? Master Yoda? He had spent so much time in the dark, his life controlled through fear and pain. His masters never looked to him with pride, only as another tool they could use to their advantage. To be believed in, to be seen as someone worthy of Hera’s kindness – it was all too much to bear.

He turned his head to the side, facing the bulkhead and said in a scratchy voice, “Who’s to say that I haven’t already spent my second chance?”

The edge of his bunk dipped as the Twi’lek sat down beside him. She retook his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t care if this is your fourth chance or tenth chance. But they way I see it, you can’t have a second chance if you are never given a choice.”

“I had a choice,” he forced out hating how his voice trembled. “It was live or die. Pretty obvious which one I chose.”

“A choice between life or death,” her delicate fingers traced over the scars on his forearm, making him shiver. “Isn’t a choice at all.”

A sob tore from his chest. Years worth of pain came spilling out, his sins bleeding freely with every wretched cry. Hera held his hand through it all, the only witness to his silent confession. It had been so long, living in the deep oppressive ache of the dark side. He had lived so long just waiting to die and when the Inquisitors boarded the _Liberator_ Kanan was so sure he had his chance.

But he was still alive. Broken, beaten, and bloody but alive. And for the first time in nearly a decade the pitch black weight of the dark side was gone. Here on this ship, traveling who knows where, there was light. There was hope. There was forgiveness.

Kanan shook until the tears had stopped falling and his breath was nothing more than a harsh rasp through cracked lips. Hera sat beside him, her gentle hand cupping his cheek. “You need to rest.” Her melodic voice was just above a whisper. “Ahsoka will be by later but for now, rest.”

He could hardly manage a nod, his body and mind well and truly spent. He was scraped out and empty. Nothing more than blood and bones and yet…he was free. There was no dark side. There was no looming shadow of his masters. There was Ahsoka and Hera and her crew all burning brightly in the Force. It surrounded him until it was rewoven into his soul. He was a child of the light, the Force made flesh.

He was free.

He was free.

*

Ahsoka sighed, letting her shoulders drop as she came out of her meditative state. Gingerly she pushed herself to her feet, the bones in her spine cracking pleasantly as she stretched her arms over her head to chase away the tension that had grown in her stillness. Around her, the Ghost was quiet. No tinkering of machinery or grumbled binary or the familiar bickering that she was so use to hearing, just silence.

She climbed down the ladder from the cockpit into the hold, the loading ramp lowered to allow the warm Lothal air to fill the massive space. Carried on the gentle breeze was the sharp report of blaster fire and the familiar hum of a lightsaber.

Ahsoka walked to the edge of the loading ramp and looked at the scene before her. The _Ghost’s_ crew was fanned out in a circle, a lone figure stood in the center with his face covered by a blast shield and a blue lightsaber in his hand. One by one, they fired on him, their red blaster bolts clashing with the blue energy of his sword. Ahsoka smiled to herself. She had seen this training technique before. Back at the Temple, the masters would often do something like this while teaching the younglings basic swordsmanship. Of course they had always used targeting droids, but this arrangement certainly did the job.

She caught Caleb’s – no Kanan’s – eye as she started down the ramp and arched a brow. He nodded, silently holding up his hands for the other to cease firing. Ezra, the figure in the middle shuffled nervously in the dirt. Ahsoka took her lightsabers into her hands and ran down the remainder of the ramp, gathering to Force around her as she took a flying leap into the air.

Sabers raised for a strike, she came down on Ezra. The boy managed to get his lightsaber up to block her attack just in time, stumbling a little from the force of her blow. She smiled and quickly disengaged, flipping her blades into a reverse grip. She crouched low, circling Ezra with silent steps. Even with his sight distorted by the blast shield he tracked her movements, only seconds behind. Sensing her opportunity she swirled her lightsabers forward, aiming for his hip.

Ezra blocked her attack. Blow after blow, he evaded her. She swept a leg out trying to unbalance him but Ezra jumped and landed softly on his feet behind her. Ahsoka spun ready to deflect but she was seconds too late, the blue of his saber inches from her throat. Ezra ripped the helmet off of his head and tossed it to the ground.

“I got you.” He panted. Ahsoka quirked a smile before she leaped back away from his blade. In a flurry of motion that was almost too fast to see, Ezra fell to the dirt as his legs were swept from under him. The boy squawked as he hit the ground, his lightsaber falling from his grip and rolling away. Kanan stood over him with his own blade pointed over Ezra’s heart.

“And I’ve got you.”

“Hey, that’s no fair!” Ezra cried as Kanan deactivated his sword and pulled the boy to his feet. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“You would have known if you were more open to your surroundings. Not every fight is going to be one on one Ezra.” The boy grumbled under his breath but nodded. “But don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re improving.”

“Ca – Kanan’s right.” Ahsoka agreed, catching herself at the last minute. It didn’t stop the slight shiver from running down Kanan’s spine. “Your skills are growing every day.”

“I’m still not as good as you or Kanan.”

“Kid, you’ve only been doing this for a few months.” Kanan slung a comforting arm around his shoulders. “’Soka and I have done this since birth. It takes time, hard work and dedication to master these skills. And even then, it’s still not going to be easy. ”

Ahsoka looked up at Kanan and said. “Nothing worth doing ever is.”

Kanan’s eyes slid away from Ezra then, looking out into the vast wilderness.

“Ezra.” Hera called from where she and the rest of the crew stood by the ramp. They had slowly backed away towards the _Ghost_ as Ahsoka and Ezra sparred, watching safely from a distance. “I need you and Zeb to clean the carbon scoring off of the Phantom.”

Ahsoka smiled as she heard the Lasat groan. Kanan pushed his padawan forward, ignoring his own cry of protest. “Go help Hera.” He said with a faint tilt to his lips. “’Soka and I have some work to do. When I get back maybe we can work on your form some.”

Ezra nodded glumly before stalking off towards the _Ghost_. With his apprentice gone, Kanan stood stiffly with his hands clenched at his sides.

“We don’t have to do this now if you’d rather wait.” Ahsoka said gently. Kanan shook his head and turned, walking off into the grass lands. She sighed and took off after him, heading for a small out cropping of rocks in the distance.

Lothal had been good for Kanan. His physical wounds healed shortly after they arrived on the planet and little by little, so had his mind. But Ahsoka knew that it would take more than a few months to heal all of the metal damage he had sustained. She sat with him most days, surrounded by the striated mountains and meditated; slowing working to rebuild what then Inquisition had broken.

It wasn’t easy. Some days it would leave him mute, unable to look anyone in the eye. On the worst days, Kanan wouldn’t leave his cabin. Only Hera would be able to coax him to eat or drink. But those days were growing few and far between. Slowly, Kanan was healing.

By the time she made it to the rocks, Kanan was already laying on the ground with his hands folded on his stomach. Ahsoka settled at the top of his head. She reached out and placed her hands on his forehead, letting her eyes slip closed.

“Thank you.” Kanan whispered before she began diving into the meditation. “For all that you’ve done for me ‘Soka.”

She stroked a thumb over the smooth skin of his brow, feeling him relax. “We are family Kanan.” The words fell from her lips without having to think about them. “I will always help you.”

A faint smile touched his mouth, warmth radiating from him. Ahsoka rolled her shoulders and closed her eyes, letting the Force envelop them both.


End file.
